Jessica Simpson at the Kennedy Center Honors

I’m sure everybody has read about Jessica Simpson botching Dolly Parton’s classic “Working 9 to 5″ at the Kennedy Center Honors. Quitting in the middle of the song flustered, tearing up, and holding her stomach, Simpson skips off the stage with these departing words to Dolly “You fluster me.” Now what the F*, Jessica! Because I grew up in the 80’s in south Texas, not only was this a movie everyone saw, but we also sang this song in the shower. It’s a catchy little tune with easy lyrics, how could you have possibly messed this up and at the Kennedy Center no less? Just so you know you’ve shot your chance to ever be in a Steven Spielberg movie, the only Smokey Robinson tribute you’ll get is “Tears of a Clown”, Andrew Lloyd Weber will probably not allow the city of Boise produce Cats with you in the role of Grizabelle, and good thing Zubin Mehta is retiring because you could totally forget about ever working with and orchestra otherwise. What’s sad about this is that everyone thought you were a complete ditz but now they know it. Because, for one, you screwed up one of the most impossible songs to screw up and you did it in an environment that could have elevated you out of the dingbat hole your in. I mean Jesus Jessica; you give blondes everywhere a bad name.